Why do we go to work wearing a noose?

So slight job update...

All the fashion retailers never got back to me this includes, dune shoes, Next, River island and animal in Exeter.
So I've taken a job at a local restaurant.
Classy

However I have a slight problem with what I am supposed to wear there... That is in a fact a tie.

Now James hates Ties... James hates ties so much that he won't wear a tie when he wears a suit.
I feel like ties don't allow me to breath, and its like having a penis just throwing itself about extending from your neck, which doesn't even function.
It's weird because a tie when done up properly feels like the moment just before you are hung, you k ow before they kick the stool from under you and you can just feel death wrapping his bony hands around your throat whispering "My precioussssssssss" and all you can say is "I'm not into your kinky shit lemme die in at least moderate discomfort.)

People mostly wear ties in high stress jobs as well, which is a bit weird as when your stressed you may feel like you can't breath anyway.

And what is the first thing you take off or adjust when you get back from a hard days work? 

Exactly...

Your fly zipper