I ruined my current running shoes...

Okay I swear on my life that this wasn't on purpose

I totally didn't run on a muddy trial route when I could of just run along the road...
And I totally didn't run in the muddiest bit just to see how good my balance was in slippery mud...

THEY WERE LUCKY THAT I DIDN'T CHUCK THEM IN THE RIVER

Like seriously they're total dicks
Even running over soft mud they still managed to give my shins an absolute hell ride
Every stride is like jumping from a trampoline onto concrete from 20 floors up.
And then nearly slipping over on the landing and getting my ass covered in mud that weirdly smells like sweet grass.
Image result for slip over
Unfortunately when I got home my mother told me that its nothing a washing machine can't solve...
So now the shoes are alive and know who tried to kill them
Is there a shoe abuse jail? 

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